Quahog
by TheNewIdea
Summary: The characters on Family Guy exist and do not exist. On one hand they are simply characters on a page with actors to fill in the shoes. On the other hand, they are real in that the actors, in addition to dealing with normal lives, have to deal with those of their characters and not in the way you would think. This is an experimental piece.
1. Chapter 1

The last thing that Brian heard before he died was Stewie screaming his name. Five seconds passed, then ten, twenty, thirty, forty-five, a minute. Fade to black.

"Alright everyone" a voice shouted through a megaphone, "That's a wrap, everybody up!"

Brian stood up and wiped the makeup off of his face and body. The street that Brian was on was moved away revealing it to be the back lot to FOX Studios. To Brian's right was the Griffin house, there were three different parts, one for the three point side view, one for the outside scenes and an extremely complex two story inside part. To Brian's left was Quahog General Hospital, which had a simple backdrop for the outside and the interior set with the single room and a bit of hallway. The entire town of Quahog, Rhode Island existed in Fox Studios in Los Angeles, California.

"That was really great Michael" the director said as he walked over, "Really believable."

Brian nodded, remembering his real name. "Yes" he answered uncomfortably, "But isn't this a little extreme?"

"What do you mean?" the director asked curiously.

"Killing me off like that" Michael answered, "I mean sure I'm an asshole but I'm a likable asshole."

The director shook his head, "No you're not. Brian's an asshole. But right now, you're not Brian, you're Michael."

Michael shrugged, "Still" he continued, "This is going to get a lot of backlash Gene."

Gene huffed in disbelief, "Screw the audience!" he cried, "You want out of this business right?"

Michael nodded, for he had been wanting off of the show for quite some time.

"Okay then" Gene continued, "Then this is the best way to do it. Besides its dramatic and if there's one thing that people love its drama, death, sex and family confrontations, it's what makes a show after all."

Michael disagreed, for he thought it would be easier if Brian just left, but then again, they had done that so many times before only for him to come back. It would be too easy, too safe. It had to be permanent. Michael walked away, trying to clear his thoughts of the death threats, hate mail and physical abuse that were sure to come in the days ahead.

Walking down the street leaving the studio, Michael continued for seven blocks until he made a left onto the large fifty seven floor apartment building that he and the residents of Quahog called home. The building was made explicitly for the actors and their families who lived with them. It had all of the amenities that one could need- a gym complete with a full Olympic swimming pool, a bar, a lounge room and even its own radio station, QLAS.

The lobby of the apartment building, also known as The Tower, was about as big as the average hospital waiting room. Hardwood floors that smelled of cedar, chairs lined against the wall made of comfortable leather and a reception desk in the upper right hand corner of the room made out of marble that always smelled of cherries made up most of the scene. The upper left hand corner of the lobby was home to four elevators and a hallway that went down the right to the maintenance department and the office of the Tower Manager, who also happened to be the director of the show, Gene.

Michael passed by the reception desk and flashed his ID to the receptionist, Diane Huber, one of the few actresses who kept her name on the show.

"How's it going Mike?" Diane asked

Michael sighed, "They're going to kill me off Diane" he answered, "I feel horrible."

Diane huffed, "Welcome to the club. I'm still pissed that they did what they did to me. Made me a killer, me...and for what... Stupid ratings! I'm telling you Mike, the minute they push it through, it's done. Family Guy has run its course."

Michael shook his head, it was plausible that his death would bring about the cancellation of the show, but part of him still wanted to believe that the fan base would remain loyal enough that such a thing wouldn't happen, at least for a few more years. At the same time Michael felt that he had ran his race, crossed his T's and dotted his I's in terms of Family Guy. He hated to do it, but somehow Michael knew that Brian had to go.

"Well I'll be praying for you Mike" Diane said as she pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Michael smiled, for religion was one thing that he and Brian did not share views on.

"Thanks Diane" he replied as he walked away, "Lay off the smokes and hit the gym once in a while eh?"

Michael reached the tenth floor of the building and took a right to apartment 1010. Pulling out his keys Michael opened the door and entered his living room.

Michael's apartment as a whole wasn't very big; it was enough for himself and his wife, Holly, a Border Collie. The living room was covered in brown carpet; Michael was trying to get hardwood floors installed but was having little success, for he was not on what you would call a handyman, or in this case, dog, in any sense of the word. The living room made a sharp left into the small kitchen on the left side of the room; the kitchen floor was covered in 1970's white tile. Opposite the kitchen was a small table with four chairs, in case Michael and Holly had company, which they almost always never had. The back wall of the apartment occupied the master bedroom, which had a double bed, a dresser and a nightstand. Next to the bedroom was a half bathroom.

Michael looked around the living room; Holly was sitting on the couch in the center of the carpet watching the small TV that was on the wall facing the door.

"How was work today?" Holly asked as Michael headed towards the kitchen, grabbing a Bud from the refrigerator and sitting down on the couch.

"Gene's killing me" Michael answered with a small laugh.

Holly raised her eyebrows at this, "What do you mean he's killing you? Does this have something to do with you or with Brian?"

Michael lay back on the couch and opened the beer; he took a drink and gave a long sigh. "Both" he answered, "Brian is getting killed off in the next episode."

"So what does that mean for you?" Holly asked curiously, "For us?"

Michael said nothing, instead he responded by gently touching Holly's stomach.

"Are you sure?" Holly replied cautiously, "You remember what the doctor said. If it fails this time-"

Michael smiled, "Come on Holly" he exclaimed excitedly, "I have faith in us. Let's give it one more try! And if it doesn't work, we still have adoption to think about."

Holly nodded, she was slowly coming around. "Would Brian want it?" she said as she rolled on her side facing Michael and taking in his scent.

Michael gave his answer without so much as second thought, "Of course he would. Brian would take every chance he got, perhaps a few more, at shooting for what we're going for. I'm sure that if he had the chance, he would go for it the first time round and I'd bet you a million dollars he'd succeed."

"Oh?" Holly continued playfully, "And why is that?"

Michael sighed, kissed Holly's forehead, took another drink of Bud and gave an honest answer.

"Because Brian's a better dog than me, he's everything that I wish I could be...for the most part anyway."

Holly shook her head in disagreement. "Okay then" she said as she kissed him back, "But Brian is a better dog _because_ of you. You've played him for years now, without you Brian would still be back in Season One development stage. You're a good actor Michael, one of the best I've ever seen, especially with that kid."

Michael smiled, remembering Steven, who played the character of Stewie. In truth, there was almost no interaction with the other actors off of the set, each of them living their separate lives and going about their business, the only conversation that was made was idle small talk in between shots and the short time after work. It was amazing that they got along on the set or even knew each other's names, but somehow they did. Michael would leave all of his principles, all of his ideals, at the door, putting on a completely different face the minute he walked on set. For seven hours of every day he was Brian Griffin, Michael would speak Brian's words, think Brian's thoughts and even do Brian's actions until the director gave the final cut or the whistle blew for the day. In this way, Brian and the citizens of Quahog were alive and yet not alive, real and imaginary all at once.

"What do say to lunch sometime?" Michael asked, "I'll see about getting Steven, George and Joe to come along."

Holly nodded, "That's sounds like a great idea. Now shut up and let's go to bed."

Michael looked at the clock; it was only five-thirty, too early for them to sleep. His head immediately went to what Holly was suggesting. There would be no need for protection, for they were going to try for what would have been the third time round, but still, precautions were made. Michael locked the front door, turned up the volume on the TV, took Holly by the hand and walked towards the bedroom, closing the door behind them as they got on the bed.

Two hours later, they emerged from the bedroom. Holly immediately headed for the bathroom, she came out five minutes later with a pregnancy test in hand. It was negative.

"Okay then" Michael said as he embraced her, "What are we going to do now?

Holly was fighting off tears, for she had wanted it so bad, especially after something so beautiful.

"I'm not sure" Holly began, "W-w-what would Brian do?"

Michael thought about his answer, he had a good idea on what Brian would do but he kept these thoughts to himself and simply lied.

"I don't know" he answered, "Forget about on what Brian would do. He's not real, not like you and me. What are we going to do?"

Holly said nothing and allowed herself to cry, Michael opened himself up for Holly to fall into. They stood in front of the bathroom door, eventually both of them starting shedding tears, neither one of them saying a word. The TV was still on, it's volume setting unchanged, door locked, the covers that were on the bed were in disarray, a result of a want and a need to get a positive test. These things would stay as they were until twenty minutes later, when Michael turned off the TV and walked outside making his way to the bar. Holly meanwhile set the bed and followed him, saying nothing as the apartment grew still full of hopeful promises and broken dreams left forever unfulfilled.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting at the bar, Michael tried to block out his failure, for he knew that it was his fault and not Holly's that the test came up negative. Michael was sterile, he found out after a routine visit to the doctor after a long day of shooting. Still, Michael held on to hope that one of his sperm would work, but it was impossible, especially now.

A long sigh came from the seat next to Michael, he turned towards it, facing Brian Griffin. Brian was wearing a black tuxedo, the fur on the top of his head was combed. He looked as if he were going to a wedding, this was not the case, but Michael always pictured Brian having a sort of class to him, so this is how he appeared.

"What do you want Brian?" Michael asked annoyingly, "Can't you just leave me alone?"

Brian shook his head, "I couldn't do that even if I wanted to Mike you know that."

Michael laughed sarcastically, "Yeah? Big whoop, you'll be dead soon anyway."

Brian rolled his eyes, "Why do you have to make so depressing! Live a little bit."

Michael ordered another round, Brian did as well but he went unanswered.

"Damn" Brian said to himself, "Well I guess that what's you get sometimes."

"That's what you get all the time" Michael replied, "You don't exist remember?"

Brian laughed, "Sure I exist" he answered, "For seven hours every day, you're me buddy. That's how it works."

Michael sighed annoyingly, "What do you want?" he repeated, "I'm busy wallowing in my failure as a male of my species."

Brian looked around the room, he could see Stewie, who was next to Steven who was sitting at one of the booths with his parents. Brian could also see Peter, who was next to George sitting at a different booth across the room. Joe Swanson, Peter's neighbor, was sitting his wheelchair next to Joe, who was standing on the other end of the bar. Brian stared back at Michael.

"Are they there?" Michael asked, looking around the room and seeing only Steven, George and Joe.

"Yeah they're here" Brian answered, "The whole gang is here."

The bartender brought Micheal his drink, almost as soon as it hit the counter it was gone, ingested in Michael's stomach.

Brian re-positioned himself in his seat and turned towards Michael.

"So I'm dying huh?" Brian said for the sake of himself, "How's it going to happen?"

Michael sighed, by contract he was forbidden to tell Brian of how he was going to die, but Michael also felt like he had an obligation to Brian to tell him the truth.

"Run over by a car" Michael answered gravely, "You're standing in the middle of the street about to play hockey with Stewie. Stewie goes inside to get his gear. You set up the net. Car comes speeding down the street and hits you head on, you don't even see it coming."

Brian looked down, he hoped that he would die differently, at the very least peaceful.

"Is it at least quick?" Brian continued, "You know how I am Mike. I get...emotional when things drag on."

Michael shook his head, "It's long and painful. All for the ratings. You die on a veterinarian bed from your injuries surrounded by your family."

Brian slammed his fist on the counter top, he was understandably pissed at the news.

"There's got to be a way around it" Brian exclaimed, "I won't go out like that."

Michael shook his head, "I'm sorry Brian but you have to. It's what they want."

"It's what who wants?" Brian continued, "Seth or Gene?"

"Both" Michael answered, "It's Season 12, you knew this was coming. They had to make a choice and you were the obvious pick. Killing a dog is a lot less painful than killing a human."

Brian nodded in partial understanding but that did not change his attitude.

"It still doesn't make it right" Brian continued, "I deserve at the very least to die well."

Michael turned away, Brian slowly disappeared.

"Make it happen Mike" Brian pleaded, "I don't want to die that way."

Michael ordered another round just as Brian disappeared.

George and Peter came over and sat down at the bar, George sitting where Brian was seconds before, Peter taking the opposite side of Michael, Michael did not know this, for Peter was invisible to him just as Brian was invisible to George.

"Was he here?" George asked, turning to Michael.

Michael nodded, "He just left" he answered, "I told him about...what's going to happen to him. He's not taking very well."

George stared at Michael in disbelief, "You did what!" he screamed, "You told him! You know you're not supposed to do that, it could ruin the show!"

"The show's already ruined George" Michael replied as he stood up, "Might as well let it happen."

Peter straightened his glasses and turned to George.

"What's he talking about?" Peter asked, "What's happening George?"

George shook his head, "Nothing that concerns you Peter, now do me a favor and shut up."

Michael turned around, he saw no one.

"Peter?" Michael began, taking a shot in the dark, "Is that you?"

Peter said nothing. George answered for him.

"He's there all right, he's just being a big baby."

Michael turned back to George.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked defensively, "You know how sensitive they are. Just because you got stuck playing the town idiot doesn't give you the right to be the world's biggest asshole everywhere you go. I understand that you hate your job, I personally don't like mine either. But for the rest of our lives we are stuck with these guys and need to treat with the respect and dignity that they deserve."

"Yeah?" George said as he ordered a round, "What do you about respect and dignity dog? You're not even supposed to talk remember?"

Michael growled, "Is that a threat?" he asked cautiously, "Because if it is I can get Brian to come out here and kick your ass. Or better yet, how about I get Ernie to do it. I'm sure he'd more than happy to."

George laughed, "Roger's a big softie and you know it. Besides they can't hurt us if we're off set, you know that. They don't exist Michael, they never have."

"They exist up here George" Michael replied as he pointed to his head, "That's why we can see them. That's why they come to life on the set and why they can't harm us when we're not there. Because we become them. We speak words we don't know sometimes, we think thoughts we would never think and do things that we don't do. For seven hours you're not George, you're Peter Griffin and I'm your dog Brian. That's how it is. So show yourself some common courtesy and either leave Peter alone or accept him into your life. Like it or not, he's part of you, you can't change that."

George walked away, Peter followed reluctantly behind.

Michael went back to his drink, Holly came a few moments later, she was a little dizzy for she was starting to have a headache but otherwise she was fine. To Michael, she was the most beautiful thing in the world, the only thing that mattered in the end.

"So Mr. Universe" Holly began as she sat down, "What's the next move?"

Michael said nothing, he was tired of planning for everything, it was time to simply let live take it's course. It was time to think like Brian. As a result of this, Brian reappeared, accidentally sitting in Holly's seat.

"Whoops" Brian said embarrassed, "Sorry Mike, didn't mean to-"

Michael lifted his paw in the air, "It's alright Brian" he said, "She doesn't mind."

Holly stared at Michael with concern, "Is he here? Now?"

Michael nodded and turned back to Brian, "You know you want to Brian, might as well get it over with."

Brian smiled and gently kissed Holly as passionately as he could, Holly could taste meatloaf and Jack Daniels, two of Brian's favorite things on her tongue.

"Did he just kiss me?" Holly asked confused

Michael nodded again, "He's been wanting to do it ever since I met you. Seems we're both crazy about you."

Brian laughed, this time was warmer than the last, "See that's why I like you Mike" he began, "You know me too well."

"Well I am you, you idiot" Michael answered, "Now do me a favor and shut up."

Brian nodded and stood up, he walked towards the middle of the room and simply stood watch, letting Michael and Holly be alone.

On the other side of the room Steven was sitting down with his parents. Stewie was sitting across from him, he looked extremely bored as if he were waiting for something interesting to happen. Brian wanted to see on what Stewie was thinking but couldn't move, for he was bound to Michael and could go so far. Brian decided to talk to him on the set when he had the chance. This done, the dog promptly disappeared once more. One by one, Stewie, Peter and Joe all disappeared, leaving their actors to themselves.


	3. Chapter 3

**Contains strong language**

Five minutes before the shoot Michael decided to voice his opinion on the result of the current episode. Before he could even get close to Gene, Tony, who was playing Vinny, came in his path.

"Hey Mike" Tony said as he walked over, "Good to be working with yah. You'll have to give me some pointers on how to-"

Michael cut him off before he could finish.

"No" he answered bluntly, "I'm not going to tutor you. As soon as this is over I'm getting my check, grabbing my things, getting my wife and leaving. You want to be the alpha dog? Fine, just remember the ones who made it possible for you to be here."

Tony was confused as to why Michael was being so defensive, he appeared to be taking it personally. Michael at present, was slowly getting into character.

"Take it easy Mike" Tony exclaimed as he raised his paws in the air, "It's me Tony. You remember me right? Your old college buddy?"

Michael huffed and ignored Tony's statement as if he didn't say anything to begin with.

"Good luck with the rest of Season 12" Michael replied, "Cause there isn't going to be a Season 13. Not with the way things are going and if there is, you better pray to God or whatever the hell is this that you believe in that is half as good as the past eleven. "

Michael crossed the threshold, in his mind he was Brian. As a result of this, the Brian part of Michael's brain switched on completely engulfing the actor to a point where Michael was completely unrecognizable.

"I gave ten years of my life to this place" Brian screamed, "And this is how they repay me. They're killing me off in the most insulting and undignified way possible!"

Brian looked around; he honestly had no idea where he was. The only thing that he knew was that he had to get to Seth and had to do it now.

"That double-crossing motherfucking nerfherder" Brian continued, "I'll rip off his dick and make him eat it!"

Tony whistled, in seconds two security guards appeared with stun guns on their hips. They casually drew their weapons and fired, Brian fell almost instantly.

Brian woke up tied to a chair in a white room. His eyes were bloodshot red and his face was covered in makeup for the big death scene. Gene, Tony, Steven, George and Joe stood in front of him; Holly was to their right, silently looking on.

"What's wrong with him?" George asked curiously

Gene shook his head, "Michael's method acting" he answered, "The Brian persona has come out, it's just like he said remember? As far as he knows he's Brian now and from the looks of things, he isn't happy."

Gene turned towards Steven and nodded; Steven took the cue and stepped forward.

"Do you know who you are?" Steven asked, hoping that Michael would answer.

Brian sighed, he was starting to calm down, "Brian Griffin" he answered.

Steven shook his head, "Your name is Michael."

Brian laughed in disbelief, "Sure it is Stewie. Why don't tell me about the time that I got hit by a car and died. Oh wait I'm sorry, you don't know do you? Well guess what buddy? I'm dying today-"

Brian turned towards Tony and then back to Steven.

"Get used to Vinny over here" Brian continued, "He'll be your new family pet. I'm sure in a month or two you'll be best friends and have all sorts of adventures and do all the stuff that we used to do while I'll rotting in the ground as my body slowly gets eaten by worms! Or were you just going to cremate me? Either way it doesn't matter. I'll fade away out of your life just everything else."

Steven stepped back to Gene. Tony stepped forward, now he understood the situation, in order to get Michael back, he had to talk to Brian first.

"Brian" Tony said slowly, trying to be as gentle as possible, "Let me talk to Mike?"

Brian growled at the sight Tony. There was only one way for this to end. Tony closed his eyes, breathed and began going over his character exercises in his head. In five minutes he was transformed into Vinny. The others took the cue and did the same, transforming into their characters in an attempt to loosen Brian of his control.

Peter stepped forward and straightened his glasses. He put on the best smile that he could and gave a short laugh in hopes that Brian would soften up. This did nothing.

"Hey buddy" Peter began, "Do you want to come out and play? I got a nice ball right here."

Peter pulled out a bright red ball from his back pocket and waved it in front of Brian, who remained indifferent.

"Yeah sure Peter" Brian continued, "You'll throw that ball into the street only for me to be hit by that car. That's how supposed to come? Is that your big plan?"

Peter laughed, "What are you talking about? What car? Come on it'll be fun!"

Brian growled again, it was almost rabid in nature. Stewie, Joe and Peter stared in disbelief, Vinny shook his head and turned towards Gene, who rang the bell and gave the signal to cut, this brought Brian back to normal. Slowly, at the sound of the bell they all returned to their normal states.

Michael looked around, he struggled to move.

"Where am I? What happened?" he asked fearfully.

Tony shook his head and answered, the others still too much in shock to even speak.

"You told him didn't you?"

Michael nodded, "What was I supposed to do Tony?"

"You were supposed to let it happen Mike" Tony replied, "Now there's no show. We might as well cancel the whole thing."

Gene nodded, "Tony's right. We can't do the show, not if he knows. It was supposed to be easy, it was going to be a good death."

Michael huffed, "Getting hit by a car is not a good death Gene. It's horrible and a shitty thing to do, especially to Brian."

Gene lifted his hands in the air innocently, "Well what did you expect! He's a dog, dogs die all the time, cars are especially deadly."

George walked over and undid Michael's bonds, Michael stood up.

"Why do we have to kill someone anyway?" Michael began once again, "Can't we just-"

"Because you wanted off the show" Gene replied, cutting him off, "You're a main character Michael. You can't leave until the show has done its run. But because you wanted to leave so badly to start your life, we did the only thing we could do. We killed Brian."

Gene pulled out his cell phone and called Seth. The conversation was short, simple and to the point.

"I understand sir" Gene said gravely, "What should we do about them...Can we do that?"

A long pause

"If you think it's best" Gene continued, "Of course and thank you sir."

Gene hung the phone and looked at the cast in the room.

"That's it. The show's over. We do this episode and we're done. You can all thank Michael for costing you your jobs and your final paychecks, we'll be using them to get you all out of the Tower and back into your homes. I'm sorry, but it's out of my hands."

Two hours later Michael was sitting in front of the Tower waiting for his wife to get her belongings. He couldn't help but feel as if all of this was easily avoidable maybe if he wasn't so attached to Brian things would've been different. Steven was sitting next to him; both of them wanted to say something but for some reason couldn't find the words. George, Joe and Carl, who played Quagmire, said their goodbyes, each of them promising to meet in the future. Daniel and Morgan, who played Chris and Meg respectively, were actual brother and sister; they were standing in front of the Tower trying to figure out what it was they should do, for both of them were old enough to be out of the public school system.

Tony was in his apartment, room 341, which overlooked the lot. He had only been at the Tower for a month, this was to get to used to the cast members. Now it seemed as if all of that- the audition, the constant practice and even getting down the scripts that he had were meaningless efforts. His career was over before it began, there was nothing left for him. As he made his way down to the lobby Tony resolved to head home and go back to his old job as a janitor at the local high school. It was a job that he missed to some degree, for he had gotten to know every single person in the building, but it still couldn't compare to what he would've had, if only for a moment with Family Guy. Tony had even told his friends, most of them kids who went to the school, of his luck and reminded them constantly to watch the show to look for him. That would never happen.

Walking out of the Tower, Natalie, otherwise known as Lois, was struggling with her bags as her taxi pulled up to take her to the airport. Michael moved to help her but she denied him, letting George take her bags and Steven to open the door allowing her to get in.

"I'm sorry Natalie" Michael said regretfully, "I didn't mean-"

Natalie huffed, "Then what did you mean Mike? Or it is Brian? I don't know."

Michael hated that he was getting cut off after every other word but then again it was to be expected for he did cost all of them their jobs and for them to be relocated back to their original homes. It was understandable and yet sad at the same time.

One by one they all left, Michael was the only one who remained at the Tower, Holly deciding to give him some space and taking a separate taxi to their house, which was nothing more than a glorified apartment.

Brian appeared. He was now shaggy as if he hadn't shaved in a while, the smell of bourbon and cigar smoke came with him. Brian's right ear was partially gone, it looked like he had recently been in a fight. In addition to this, Brian's nose was bloody and both of his eyes were black.

"I'm sorry Mike" Brian said sadly as he pulled out a full Jack Daniels and drank it as if it were nothing, "I really screwed up."

"No" Michael answered, "You fucked up. Don't try and sugar coat things Brian, you were the one who exploded and cost everyone their jobs. Now, thanks to you, everyone hates me."

Brian shook his head, the feeling of guilt appeared to be rushing over him, but it wasn't, Brian couldn't feel such emotions on his own, he had his own opinions on issues due to character development but emotions were tied directly to Michael.

"Do you feel guilty?" Brian asked slowly, hoping that he wasn't overstepping boundaries.

"No" Michael continued, "I don't know what to feel. Angry, depressed...a little happy I suppose, but not guilty."

"Why is that?" Brian pressed, "Is it because of me?"

Michael nodded, "They were going to kill you off Brian. What was I supposed to do?"

Brian shook his head; he didn't have an answer to Michael's question and so ignored it.

"Don't blame yourself" Brian exclaimed trying to divert the attention onto himself. "It's my fault. I overreacted. If Seth and Gene thought it was my time to go for the sake of the show I should have accepted that. I didn't, I couldn't."

Michael had an idea of where Brian was going and spoke before Brian could speak again.

"God works in mysterious ways" he declared, "You'd be surprised on what He brings you, even in death life is just around the corner."

Brian nodded, for he had been told this numerous times by his family, Jillian and Jasper, despite this he still held firm in his personal beliefs. Brian responded in the following way, giving a mock version of the Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary from a book Michael read once by Hemingway.

"Our nada who art in nada, nada by thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada...Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee."

Michael said nothing and simply waited for his taxi.

The taxi pulled up ten minutes later, the driver was Jerry, Holly's brother as well as New Brian in "The Man with Two Brians" episode. Michael, and sub sequentially Brian, got into the taxi and waited for it drive off. It did not move. Jerry turned around and faced Michael.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jerry asked, "You cancelled the show."

Michael sighed, the guilt began to set in. "What do you want me to say Jerry?" Michael replied, "I just...Brian...I couldn't do it. He doesn't deserve that, no one does, to die that way."

Jerry shook his head, "You've been hanging around this place for too long. Do you know what they call people who talk to themselves all the time? Schizophrenics..."

Brian started to butt in, but Michael stopped him before he could get a word out.

"It hurts me Mike" Jerry continued, "To see you this way...My sister cares for you, cares for you a lot. Believe it or not so do I, there's not a thing I wouldn't for you Mike, you know that. But this has got to stop. You have to let Brian go."

Michael said nothing; Jerry sighed in pity and drove towards Michael's house.

"By the way" Jerry began once again, "Holly saw it all. She's scared Mike; she knows what's been going on, how you just get lost in yourself when you're on set. Like you become a completely different person. I talked to her about it, she said it was like you weren't even there. Long story short, Holly's filing for divorce, the mental stress is too much for her right now."

This was the last thing that Michael wanted or needed to hear. His entire world, everything that he knew, was gone in a single day. Brian cried the whole way home, Michael was only one who heard him. It was the saddest thing that ever hit his ears. As soon as Michael opened the door, Brian disappeared, too depressed to stay with Michael longer than necessary.


End file.
